Child of the Lost Time
by demisses
Summary: After losing her family her home and her memories a young Elvhen girl is set on a journey to regain them and the time stolen from her. It will take the help of many including a mysterious mage of her own kind who travels the fade and reminds her of a time she has forgotten. Rated M for themes of Violence and those of a romantic nature.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hello all! Had to get this story off my mind! I hope you enjoy. What you recognize from the games/books/wiki are not mine of course. **

Child of the Lost Time

The Fall

"Mel, Shiral! You must take my staff of Mythal and run. Hide. The city is falling and you mustn't fall with it!"

"Mamae! Yo.. you are coming!"

"No emma lath, I am not. I am needed here".

"You are needed with us!"

"Shiral you must be strong. Take your sister and the staff and you run and you never stop. When it is safe use the key to- The sounds of screaming comes closer and the roar of dragons rumbles the city. Go! Now!"

"Mamae!"

And so the great dreamer Iselva watched as her children ran into the darkness. Their black hair and bright green eyes full of fear and grief which were so like her own left her sight and she fell to her knees and the earth shook one last time before the world around Iselva collapsed.

_Hours before…_

Rocky cliffs slick with ocean spray and seaweed, the sound of birds chirping and cawing, the sea salt and sand in her hair, the cool breeze brushing her young cheeks. Len'Melava stood silently as she judged and calculated the distance to her next leap.

Len'Melava or 'Mel' to those that love her raised her hands to her wind teased black hair and twisted the long strands into a tight knot. She assumed the position in preparation to make her leap for the small, slick overhang when with a sly smile she straightened once more. A hand on her chin Mel considered her quarry and hid a grin as she heard a groan behind her.

"Mel you've made this jump countless times. Hurry up!" Her twin brother Uth'Shiral complained.

This particular cliff on the edges of the endless sea was of no particular challenge to the young elvhen but she liked to make her impatient and slightly younger brother wait. "Calm yourself Shiral! We are to take our first lessons with the Dreamers tomorrow. It wouldn't do to be reckless and break our necks when we have finally been accepted."

Shiral shook his matching black hair from his eyes and tried to ignore the sing of the salt in his eyes. "Please don't act as if we have never dreamed before. Mamae has been teaching us for years now."

Mel rolled her eyes and looked over her shoulder to her brother, her best friend, and her confidant. "And you know the elder's mustn't know. Besides we have never been welcomed into the Veil Tower. Now hush lest we fall to our deaths and leave our Mamae full of grief. You know we are not supposed to be here."

"Then why did you drag me from my wood crafting lesson?"

Mel gave him a secret smile. "As if you actually enjoy those stuffy lessons." Mel said mockingly. "You will see. Hush." Turning back to her goal, Mel planted her bare feet firmly and lined her body to the small ledge. Letting out one last breath Mel took two quick steps before leaping from the wet rock, her fingers gripped the ledge firmly and with strong arms she fluidly pulled herself up to the cliff.

Despite having made the leap many times in the years before she always felt exhilarated, the feeling of adventure humming in her blood. Mel hopped out of the way as her dear brother made the same accomplishment just as easily as she had and she led the way to their destination.

After a long moment of silence Shiral grew impatient once more and his curiosity was running wild. "Alright _Len'Melava_, I no longer recognize the path we are on. Where are you taking us?"

"Alrigh_t Uth'Shiral._ Remember last cycle when one of the hunters thought I would be receptive of his attentions?" Mel didn't bother with looking back to see Shiral's nod, she knew that he did. "The little upstart was behaving rudely as you know. I couldn't have that so I led him out to the rocks and he may have… _slipped_ on a bit of frost and fell into the water."

Mel smiled at the sound of her brothers' chuckle. It was deep and warm. "A bit of frost in the middle of the second harvest? Imagine that."

"Yes well it was a bit colder that day than normal." Mel stopped talking as she ducked below low branches and in a small clearing was a darkened stone archway leading down into the ground. The steps were covered in over grown moss and vines.

Shiral hesitated and looked around the surrounding trees. "Where have the birds gone?"

With a shrug, Mel continued her story. "Who cares? Back to the story. Naturally I was not going to be there for when the bothersome hunter finally pulled himself from the water so I went to the cliffs and explored."

"Alone? _Ar tu na'din_! And if I don't then one of those Tevinter shems could have!" Shiral exclaimed.

"Tch! They could have tried! And they would have failed." Mel bit back.

"Did you even have your staff with you?"

"I do not need a staff." Mel ground out. She was becoming very proficient with magic but she had always the thought of using a silly stick and waving it around wildly was all a bit ridiculous. .

"You are better with a staff. Mamae says so."

Mel threw up a hand. "I will no longer discuss this. Mamae does not know everything. Now may I please finish?"

Shiral shook his head but gestured for her to continue anyways.

"Good. As I was saying before, during my explorations I came across this tunnel. It was caved in and over the course of the past few days I had been coming here before the day's lessons and clearing the rubble. Come. I'll show you where it leads."

And the siblings each fashioned and lit a torch with a spark from their hands and Mel led the way into the small cramped tunnel, Shiral mumbling that he had wondered where she had been on those early mornings.

Shiral muttered a curse a moment after entering the tunnel. "You don't think you could have found a bigger tunnel to explore?"

This brought a smile to Mel's once tight expression and she glanced back to enjoy the sight of her tall brother hunched over. "Come now it will widen. Watch your step. It gets steep from here.

The path was long and more than a little treacherous but eventually they reached a door made of stone and Mel pushed it open. Using her hands she pushed the long vines and bushes out of their path. "Here we are!" Mel said proudly.

Shiral looked around his nose wrinkled. "Arlathan? All of that just to get back into the city?"

"Tch it's not the fact that it leads to the city but the fact that it obviously hadn't been used in many long years."

"Mel that was a waste of time! If Mamae finds out that we snuck out of our lessons for… for-" Shiral broke off as the first roar and screams filled the air.

After a brief panic filled look the two sprinted for their home, their Mamae.

-They hadn't wanted to leave her. Leave their home. They didn't have a father to leave, as one of the mysteries about the twins of the origin of their conception. Dreamer Iselva was greatly known through the Elvhenan as having great talent and finding the solution to anything in the fade.

During one particular journey, sixteen years before the Teventer Empire destroyed Arlathan, she emerged from the Fade and after a short time learns she was with child. The time had been great since Iselva had taken a lover, leaving no doubt that the father of her unborn children was a mystery.

A few of the elders suggested that the Gods had gifted her because of her notable work with filling their libraries with knowledge of the fade.

Iselva however had always believed that her children were not a gift to her but a gift for something greater. Something much more important than herself, and she always told them so. Do their studies, work hard in their practice, and always treat the servants with kindness. They were important to the Gods and they would need the love of their people.

This was of little import now as the two young Elvhen stumbled and ran back toward the hidden tunnel Mel had dragged them through. This time Shiral pulled his sister through the vines, not bothering to find their torches, and into the dark wet tunnel.

And they left the sounds of fear and pain, they left their elders, their home, their friends, behind and they ran.

-Both were exhausted when they at last stopped to rest inside of a cave as far from their home as they could before collapsing. Neither spoke as they huddled near the back of the cave, their Mamae's staff gripped across their laps as they caught their breath.

It was difficult to process what had happened as neither was sure. They knew the Shems where greedy for land and resources, for the knowledge and power their people had. Seems their own had fallen easier than they thought could have been possible.

The siblings leaned against the other as they drifted to sleep only to be awoken by the sound of armored boots on stone echoing through the cavern.

Her eyes wild Mel looked around frantically for an escape. "Shiral there's nowhere to go!"

Shiral closed his eyes. "We must survive. Hide the staff and don't fight."

Mel began to argue, her green eyes on fire. "But-"

"Mamae _needs_ us to survive this. We can do this."

Mel swallowed and nodded. Quickly she hid the staff beneath a few rocks and joined her brother where he knelt, his head bowed and submissive. It went against every single part of her to join him, grabbing his hand in hers, the pained grief in his eyes was difficult to bear but she knew he was right.

Shouts began to fill their ears and rough hands pulled them apart. Mel struggled to keep her voice from shouting for her brother. Her last thoughts as darkness overcame them. 'We will endure this.'

-_Three years after the fall_

"_Run Mel! I'll hold him back but you must run!"_

"_No Shiral I cannot lose you!"_

"_And I will not allow the Magister to destroy you entirely. You- You were always more important than I. Mamae knew we would need you. You must survive. I will be the one to endure."_

"_Shiral do not be a fool! They will kill you for this."_

_Mel fought back a tear as her dear brother pulled his stained and worn slaves robe from around his shoulders and used it to wrap her bare and shivering form. Giving her a sad smile he used a touch of magic to erase the bruise under her eye and the split in her lip._

"_You must then grow strong, stronger than you were before they tried to break us. And you must use that strength and rain their blood from the highest of the mountains."_

_A sob caught in her throat as the last piece of her life came crumbling down. She was stubborn and pliant at the same time as Shiral pushed her toward the window._

-Len'Melava had never felt such terrible cold in her short life. Once she would have told you that the river on a brisk third harvest day was cold but she changed that to the first time she slept on the stone in the slaves' dungeon. Neither of those compared to walking through a blizzard in the middle of nowhere.

Using what magic she could muster she attempted to keep warm but the wind and snow caused her hands to go numb. Clumps of ice clung to the thin cloth Shiral had wrapped her in and her clothing under that was thin and torn, offering no protection.

Mel fought the uncontrollable shudders her body was giving and concentrated on moving one frozen barefoot in front of the next. Forcing the certainty that her other half, her brother was dead, to the far reaches of her mind.

Loosing track of time and place long ago Mel at last fell into the deep snow, and huddled into a ball. Mel had never been a devout follower of the Gods. To her they were far away stories of great men and women that people came to love more than anyone else. But Mel felt like praying but who do you pray to help you escape such a situation. Mythal?

From her position kneeing in the snow and wind Mel caught sight of a dark figure just beyond the small light of the moon.

"Wh-wh-who…?" Mel attempted to get out more but her voice was frozen within her chest.

The dark figured only stared at her from the distance as if it were waiting.

"I- I c-c-can'tt."

No reply, only the howling wind.

Mel closed her eyes and took deep breaths of icy air and slowly, weakly struggled to stand. She fell more than once as she followed the figure. She followed, no longer caring where she was going. It could have been back to the Magisters for all she knew but her need for warmth was becoming life threatening. She followed.

If she had been of sound mind she would have noticed the beautiful statues, the lovely fountain that flowed as if the weather were warm. The pavilion offered little protection from the cold but the snow was not welcome in there.

The girl collapsed against the nearest statue, that of a wolf and sank to the stone floor. Mel closed her eyes, and allowed her mind to drift. As her mind drifted her blue hands gained their feeling, her toes and legs warmed and Mel smiled as the sun warmed her face.

Blinking her eyes she gazed around the little garden. There were green grass and colorful flowers. Birds flitted from tree to tree, each full of life and energy. Keeping her shoulders wrapped Mel slowly stood, strength filling her limbs and feeling full, she stepped from the garden and saw a great black wolf seated just out of reach.

Mel brushed her black hair from her eyes and smiled kindly at the wolf. "Hello there. This is a lovely garden you have. May I explore a bit longer?" her smile deepened as the wolf joined her side and she gave it a soft pat on the head.

And so the two walk through the trees and flowers. Passing statues and caves, temples and castles. At first there was only silence between them but eventually Mel allowed her grief and sadness to enter her mind and the girl began to tell the wolf of her life. Of her dreams, her hopes, her fears and her nightmares. She talked about her Mamae and Shiral. The fall of her home, her life. Her life as a slave. The day she was forced to have a vallaslin etched upon her once mark free face, forever identifying her as a slave.

The girl became lost in time, loosing herself in this garden of the wolves'. The more she told of her knowledge, of her memories, the more she began to forget them. First she forgot her slavers then her friends and teachers, the elders, her joys and hurts were next. She didn't even notice that she was forgetting her Mamae and Shiral. All she was left with was her name.

When at last she had spoken of everything she ever knew, ever experienced, a heavy weariness settled upon the girl.

"I think I'll rest now lovely wolf."

As always the wolf kept silent and watched as she settled against a tree and closed her eyes. A soft smile still on her lips.

"This is a lovely place dear friend. I never want to leave." Mel opened her eyes slightly as she felt the wolf sit next to her, lying their head across her lap. She lightly ran her fingers across the soft dark fur. "If you'll have me I would stay forever." She whispered as she slipped into her sleep.

When she awoke the wolf was gone but Mel only vaguely remembered the weight of something warm in her lap and the softness of fur threaded through her fingers. Giving into a long stretch the girl pushed the long pale hair from her face and tied it into a knot and sprung to her feet.

A light energy hummed through her body. Mel never considered that she might be lost and in a strange place and had a complete lack of memories but she was an adventurous sort and so she picked a direction and began to walk.

After many days of walking, hunting, and sleeping beneath the stars Mel came across a strange sight. People like herself. With a curious smile she left the trees she had been watching from and walked right up to the oldest person there. Ignoring the stares and whispers of the onlookers.

With a slight bow of respect Mel introduced herself. "Honored Elder, I am Len'Melava of... " Mel paused as her mind failed to recall this part of her introduction. "I must apologize Elder. I-I cannot recall where I am from.

The old and startled elder looked around cautiously for an incoming attack. Finding no cause for immediate concern she turned back toward the curious youth before her. She was clothed in rags, her white hair was knotted and an unkempt mess. Her vallaslin was that of Mythal and there were a couple of small scars on her face.

"Welcome Len'Melava. Come with me and we can talk. I am Keeper Deshanna Istimaethoriel Lavellan."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Thank you for those that have read so far! Sometimes I will borrow dialog from the game, at times I will enter my own, or describe what was said without using the dialog. Hopefully none of this will bother you and you will continue to enjoy. The game portion may not be as in depth; I will hit main points and add my own occasionally. This is foremost a Solas/Inquisitor story and while I adore the story of them falling in love, I am mainly hoping to get to what happens after the end of the game. I am impatient and cannot wait for the DLC/Next game to address the out of nowhere twist with Solas so I'm doing my own to console myself and hopefully all of you with a broken heart as well. Also excuse my lack of fluent Elven. I can barely put together English :) much less anything as intricate as a language there is very little known about. One last note. At the beginning of each chapter I hope to put together a memory of Mel's. I have several ideas but if you have anything that pops in your mind please send and I'll be happy to write it and credit you. I seem to get all kinds of ideas when I am reading the work of others so I am very receptive of yours! **

_"Have I yet told you the time I learned to swim kind wolf? Quite by accident. Shiral and I were much too young but we were curious. Always curious so very much to Mamae's dismay. One day Shiral and I were meant to be tending to Mamae's garden. She had the most wondrous garden that I ever saw in Arlathan. Full of every flower and there were many birds and trees. _

_Shiral and I were in there for most of our lives I'm sure. But as we planted seeds of elfroot we overheard a fisherman bragging that he found a ring in the Crystal River and he planned to give it to the songstress who had arrived the night before. She had a truly beautiful voice. I can see why he was so enamored. The fisherman's brother, a weaver I believe, asked Fisherman if there might be more in the river. _

_Fisherman was absolutely positive that there would be more and Weaver made plans with Fisherman to go back the next day. Now Shiral and I we have this silent way of speaking at times and this was one of those times. He looked at me and I looked at him and in unison we scampered out of the garden with nary a word to Mamae and after asking many passerby's the way, we at last made it to the river. _

_To our luck Fisherman had left his fishing gear near the edge of the river so we began our search there. Starting out in the shallows and wading further from shore until our little feet could no longer touch the bottom. In the midst of our panic and will to survive we somehow made it to shore, certainly much more exhausted than we were before and it was a moment later Mamae discovered us. Shiral and I had to leave our short lived treasure hunting days behind for a time._

_But that is another story…. Would you like to hear dear wolf?"_

Becoming Salvation

The Lavellan were cautious about the outsider. Her lack of memories and her constant questions. Her strange accent and her use of their language were at times very confusing. The Lavellan learned that not only did she not have memories of herself but of their ways and their customs and more shocking she couldn't recall a single fact of their history.

Keeper Deshanna could not allow such a lack of knowledge and began to oversee Mel's education herself. And Mel soaked up every word, ever bit of information the Keeper could offer.

Learning everything from the origin of her Vallaslin in a coming of age ceremony to the purpose of elfroot and the fear of demons.

The Lavellan realized quickly in the following days of the arrival of Len'Melava that she was a mage. Mel herself was ever more astonished than they were, and was more eager than ever to learn.

However when Keeper Deshanna handed Mel a staff for the first time Mel wrinkled her nose in disgust. It was only at the Keepers firm insistence that the young woman accepted the staff and began to learn how to channel her energy through the tool.

The young mage became consumed with learning, filling her mind that had been so full of emptiness. She began forming memories and the days and weeks quickly slipped into a year. Mel eventually forgot that she wasn't truly accepted into the clan, she was more considered a long staying guest rather than a valued member of their society.

She eventually stopped trying to form close relationships with the others her age. Mel became content to watch as a young couple fell in love, offering encouragement when they allowed fear or shyness to keep them apart. Occasionally and only when Mel was alone did she ask her missing memories if there had been someone who looked at her with love and wonder? Had she looked at someone in the same way?

The children were a delight and if their Mamae allowed, Mel would spend the days teaching her of games and songs. Piece by piece Mel built a life for herself among the Dalish. Her daily lessons with the Keeper, her time spent gathering herbs and collecting interesting books or exploring ruins as they moved to their seasonal camps.

Sleeping beneath the stars when the weather was amiable and singing along to the various Dalish ceremonies. Her lack of childhood memories bothered her little and she did not allow loneliness to take away from the spirit she felt when she ran with the Hallas or swam with the clan hunter's dogs.

Then the time came when a passing band of Dwarven merchants stopped to trade and offer the latest in news of Ferelden. A war had broken out between mages and Templars and the call for a meeting. A conclave. Mel wasn't entirely sure what the Templars were but she found the idea of war against mages angered her.

When Keeper Deshanna came to Mel after much consideration and asked the young woman to attend this Conclave at the Temple of Sacred Ashes and report back everything which is said, Mel readily agreed.

Not many were sad to see her go, her oddness disconcerting for them but they were nervous about the war. Too many times their people had been caught in the middle of such problems brought about by the Shems.

With determination, Mel packed a light traveling pack, accepted her staff and set out on the path the Dwarves had told her. She never looked back and she never considered that she wouldn't see the small clan for a very long time if she ever did at all.

-Solas ignored the shouts of various soldiers following orders and frightened villagers muttering stories about the supposed murderer of the Divine Justinia. Rather than listen to their abrasive voices and instead he concentrated on his charge, the supposed murderer.

"I am not convinced you are any such thing." He said quietly as he considered the mage. Her hair was an unnatural white that didn't suit her sun touched skin, his examination of her eyes revealed dilated pupils surrounded by a thin ring of green. He frowned at her vallaslin, the blood mark dark and hid her features. The scars on her face gave him the suspicion of physical violence.

After wiping the sheen of sweat from her face he went back to recording the random mutterings from the very young Elvhen woman. And wrote every word she said that could be made out, hoping for some clue as to who she was, where she was from and why she walked out of the fade. How was she linked to the explosion of the temple? And the green light engulfing her left hand...

So many unanswered questions and he knew that if he could not wake her soon then it would be more than just her life Seeker Cassandra would want.

With a sigh Solas adjusted his position as he read over his more recent notes. Her belligerence was rapid at times and hardly legible. The oddest part was the various word of ancient Elvhen he made out.

"_Too many eyes._ Curious. What sort of nightmare are you trapped in? _Hear a story. Nuvenin nan. _Revenge… for what?"

"Solas we need you!" The apostate was pulled from his study by the call from Leliana.

"How may I be of service Spymaster?" Solas asked as he stood beside the marked woman.

Leliana briefly studied their prisoner before giving her attention to Solas. "Reports just arrived of another rift, this one dangerously close. We need answers."

Solas looked down at the woman as she groaned and grasped her marked hand to her chest, her teeth clenched in pain.

"It seems she will awaken just in time. I will go to this new rift and help where I can. Bring her the moment she does awaken. Perhaps she is the key... do not allow the Lady Seeker to execute her before I try one last time."

Leliana nodded. "I will inform Cassandra. Take Varric and meet the scouts at the gate. Hold the demons off as long as you can."

"As you wish." Solas nodded first to the infamous bard as she left the prisoners cell. Once he collected his staff and shrugged on a lightly armored coat he stopped to gently pat the returning sweat from her skin. "_Dareth shiral_."

-To say Mel was confused, hurting, and afraid would be only the beginning to explain her current emotions. To awaken to searing pain running the length of her arm. An incredibly intimidating and angry warrior asking questions and accusing her of horrendous crimes. And once again no memory of the recent events.

Mel had seen a human before though it had been very rarely and only when the clan she had been with was in need of something the traveling merchant had. As Mel followed the warrior called Cassandra through the crowd of angry Shems she wanted to explain to them that she would never hurt anyone. She was innocent. If they would only give her a chance.

The great hole in the sky roared and debris rained down, causing both warrior and mage to flinch and Mel to cry out as the pain seared in her hand and arm. Cursing the green energy surrounding them she began to fear that the Seeker was right. This was going to kill her.

Her first encounter with a demon was almost more exhilarating than it was frightening. Having never used her gift of magic to cause pain, Mel was briefly unsure if she would be able to manage defending herself. That all changed when on pure instinct Mel picked up a staff laying in the ice and used it to throw a bolt of lightning at the horrible creature. Adrenalin hummed in her blood.

The way its deformed body shuddered briefly before moving to attack again encouraged Mel to send her onslaught of attacks again and again until the demon melted into the ice. She wasn't sure where it had gone, if she had truly destroyed it but at least she was alive. After a brief argument with Cassandra, she was able to keep her weapon. For the first time since she had learned just what a staff could do she was happy to have one.

The two women continued their fight through the awful twisted creatures until they came upon a terrifying sight. A green cloud of lightning and screams, various people in a fight for their lives against the demons coming from the rift. Mel stood still in what was close to awe. Her staff held loose in her hands and she whispered "The Fade."

A whisper of something she once knew clawed at the back of her mind, her brow wrinkled as she struggled to reach it. She was brought from her desire to remember by a cry of pain, a human scout clutched her bloody chest. The demon guilty for the wound reared back a jagged claw and acting on instinct again Mel began her attack, drawing the attention to herself.

Not a second after the demon was defeated did Mel feel a hand grip her wrist tightly and hold it toward the angry rift. Mel had to look away from the blinding green light and clenched her jaw at the intense pain radiating through her arm.

When the rift collapsed upon itself with a crack of thunder Mel stared at her glowing hand in awe and then in more awe at the Elvhen that had held her wrist. A thin angular face, made all the more sharp by his lack of hair, blue eyes with a only hint of relief in them and more of a calculating edge, and a mage's staff slung across his back. Mel found him more intimidating than the Seeker.

Mel swallowed and found her voice nervously. "Wh-what did you do?"

He gave her a calm smile. "_I_ did nothing. The credit is yours."

Mel listened to his explanation, his suspicions in how the breach in the sky was linked to her mark, the possibility that she could close the breach and she felt the weight of the world settle on her shoulders. Suddenly she was responsible for saving herself, him, and everyone.

Introductions with a sarcastic dwarf named Varric where exchanged, fascinated that he had named his weapon and Mel considered naming her staff. She wasn't sure she would ever think favorably of the object but it had been useful in her time of need.

Then the introduction from Solas and the reveal that he had cared for her while she had been unconscious.

"_Ma serannas_ Pride." Mel whispered. "My name is Len'Melava… Lavellan. Please call me Mel."

At his curious nod Mel listened to the words between the interesting dwarf and the angry Seeker, holding her voice when she was curious about the relationship and she picked up on the fact that Solas knew more about the breach and her mark. Learning the fact that he explored the Fade.

"A dreamer." Mel gazed at him and frowned once more as a far off memory pulled at her. She listened as the mage explained his wish to aid in closing the breach, his tone commanding and arrogant. Following the three down the mountain the rest of the day became a blur.

She remembered defending herself to an angry Shem and the snap in Solas' voice as he commented about the Dalish and her need to defend them without revealing that she was not actually of the clan. She was becoming increasingly tired of strangers accusing and judging her.

The terrifying image of people charred and burned, the pain and fear they must have felt made Mel feel as if she were suffocating. To hear her voice say words she had no memory of saying was chilling. A battle with an enormous demon that gave a hideous laugh at their attacks, the crushing feel as a powerful fist slammed into her back, sending her headfirst into the stony wall and just barely closing the angry rift with her life.

Darkness welcoming her once more as she used the foreign magic to close the rift.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Borrowed some of BioWare's dialog.**

_We Elvhen have a special relationship with the Fade. Did you know Wolf? Mamae is- was… the most talented Dreamer. She had gone further into the Fade than anyone else. She witnessed the first use of magic by our ancestors and she said it was beautiful. I wanted to find these precious pieces of lost history. I wanted to be just like Mamae. And it was only natural that Shiral and I would pester her until she taught us to explore the Fade. _

_Without the Elders knowing of course. We were much too young to understand the dangers but we knew our Mamae would protect us. Walking through the Fade is… is… an experience unlike anything I have yet to come across. To walk through ruins and find them whole again, to seek the wisdom of spirits wise beyond the most respected of the Elders… to watch a beautiful moment between a daughter and her father as he walks with her upon his shoulders. I never wanted to leave. _

_Watching the memories was addicting…. But I grew to miss my beautiful Mamae and my kind Shiral. So I awoke and when I did I found Mamae and Shiral waiting for me with smiles and love, both eager to hear what I had experienced and to tell me about their own. And as I held them tight I vowed to always come back to them. To never let them go. Why did I let them go dear Wolf? _

Rise of the Herald

Awakening with a name begging to be shouted but instead was lost in a groan of pain. Mel frowned as she sat up from the bed and stretched her sore back and tender shoulders. A quick look around revealed that she was in someone's residence.

"Well at least I am no longer to bed down in the dungeon." She mumbled to herself. A short moment later she was startled by the intrusion of a young elven servant and completely bewildered by the girl's behavior. The near fear and respect was odd to say the least.

It did not compare to the way the Shems stared at her however, as she made her way to the Chantry. Where before they had snarled at her with hate and anger now they reached for her with hope and reverence, and Mel heard the Herald of Andraste whispered more than once.

Mel was uncertain about the following events as the all happened so quickly. She was introduced to a commander of armies and a commander of diplomats…. She hoped she had that right. And together with Cassandra and Leliana some sort of plan was established. And Inquisition. Their mission was to stop the fighting and find help and resources to close the breach.

Easy enough Mel was sure. After hours in the Chantry she was more than ready to volunteer to go search for Mother Giselle and offering a bit of help to the refugees where she could. Excitement at the thought of an adventure eased Mel's sore muscles and it didn't take long for her to gather her supplies.

Cassandra had already informed her that she was willing to make the journey with her, offering her sword as protection. Mel was certain she would not need the help of others but the Seeker was stubborn. After giving into Cassandra, Mel wondered if Varric would like to go. She had quickly caught on that he was always on the look for a story to tell.

The dwarf was more than willing and happy that she had asked. He shooed Mel away from his tent so that he could gather his own supplies and said he would be waiting by Haven's gate.

That left one more to ask and Mel was not even certain she wanted to ask him to join her. He had been very disconcerting the day before after meeting him. the arrogant way he discussed the Dalish, his mocking tone.

Mel sighed and began to search the small village for the other apostate. His lack of respect towards the people who had offered her their knowledge aside he was obviously quite knowledgeable. And his skill would be very useful during the journey to come.

When she came across him standing off to the side along, watching the other residents in a calculating way, she was determined to keep the conversation short and simple.

"Alright Mel, just go up there and ask him politely if he would like to join you and a bit of adventure. If he says no leave it at that. Just bow politely and go meet the others at the gate. And if he says yes…."

"The chosen of Andraste, a blessed hero to save us all." Solas nodded as Mel slowly approached him.

His tone was still mocking but the sincere smile told Mel that he was not mocking her and she felt warmed by the thought. Her own tone became playful as she went along with the absurd title.

However a moment later his manner turned vulnerable as he considered whether she would be a worthy hero worth the spirits remembering. Mel chose to ignore his prying and instead turned the questions on him. If there was one thing Mel was fascinated by it was of stories from long ago.

And as it turns out, Solas' journeys through the Fade made him a well of stories. Mel had to reign in her curiosity though when she noticed a slight vulnerability come about him. His uncertainty of the amount of welcome Cassandra would allow seemingly had the intimidating apostate… hesitant.

With just that small glimpse of a real emotion Mel went from reluctant to include him to desperately wanting to protect him. From Cassandra? From the judgment of shems? Mel couldn't be certain but she did know that she couldn't allow him to simply slip away with him feeling unwanted or unneeded.

"You came here to help, Solas. I won't let them use that against you."

"How would you stop them?"

"However I had to." Mel said with a bit more fervor than was warranted.

Solas' eyes widened but he simply gave a polite thank you. After a moment Mel bit her lip and gathered her courage.

"Leliana has asked if I would travel to the Hinter Lands and make contact with a cleric of the Chantry. Varric and Cassandra are already making preparations to join me. I balked at the instance that I need help but I wondered if you come with me. Lend me your knowledge and aid should it be required?"

Solas held his hands behind his back and gave a slight bow and a polite smile. "It is yours. I will be ready to leave at once."

Mel felt her face light in a wide smile and she backed away. "Thank you… Solas."

-The moment the gates closed behind them Solas vowed to keep a close eye on the young Elvhen woman. For a time she seemed exceptionally ordinary. Quiet for a time but he noticed her curiosity was difficult for her to control and she began to ask questions.

She asked Varric about his life and his travels, his friends and his family. "Why is your crossbow named?"

For once Varric became closed off and evaded the question. His lack of answers did not put her off and instead she began the same with Cassandra much to the Seekers dismay.

Their travel had started at midday so they did not walk for long before the sun began to set and they were forced make their first camp. Once the tents were erected and a warm fire lit, Solas noticed Len'Melava doing something rather odd.

She seemed to be gathering stones of flowers and set them in a circle just outside of their camp. One stone with one flower set atop. Nine of them.

Solas approached her crouched form slowly. "Len'Melava, may I ask what you are doing?"

Mel didn't look up but continued her project. "Keeper Deshanna told me that if you are on a journey you should always ask the Gods for their protection and pay your respects by making some sort of offering to them. I am not so sure that I believe it but in these days it is better to be safe rather than sorry."

Solas couldn't keep the surprise from his voice. "A Dalish Elvhen with doubts about what the Gods would want?"

Mel brushed her hands against her legs as she stood to admire her work. "Yes well, don't tell the Keeper but I know a good story when I hear one." Mel left out the part about her missing memories. For all she knew she did believe in deities and had simply lost them.

"Do you believe in the Maker then?"

Mel looked at him, a slight frown. "They all sound a bit fantastic if you ask me. No I believe in memories and experiences. I read that we lost much of what we had at the hands of… Teventer…" she turned her gaze away to watch the darkness.

Solas was almost unsettled. He had become accustomed to everyone believing in either one or the other. This _Dalish_ woman was most unexpected. He excused himself to leave her to her thoughts and he went back to the camp, the sounds of Varric and Cassandra arguing reaching across the camp.

The next day the small group made excellent time and quickly found Mother Giselle. Solas expected that they would return to Haven right away but to his surprise Len'Melava became quite taken with the idea of helping every person they came across.

Before he knew it their short trip turned into several weeks as they broke up fighting mages and Templars, fought against bandits and provided food to refugees. They never stayed in one place for longer than a day and Solas found that with each person they helped the respect for the Inquisition and its Herald increased. Word spread about an Elvhen mage who could do anything. But they didn't see her inner struggle.

The sadness on Len'Melava's face as she was forced to use her magic against wolves that were under the control of a demon, or tell a hopeful face that their lover was dead. Solas could see the weight of such things bothered her in the dark rings under her eyes after a sleepless night under the stars, or the nervous twist of her hands before she delivered the heartbreaking news.

Solas came to respect the way she held fast however and sought to ease the pain and ask them to join their cause anyways. And many did.

He was considering all of this as he watched from the fence he leaned on, Len'Melava was attempting to mount a horse. He smiled slightly as she held a foot as high as she could only to stumble as the horse moved away. Her muttered curse could just barely be heard. Varric and Cassandra were discussing the delivery of the horses to the Inquisition with the horse master.

"Do you need help Len'Melava?" He offered sincerely.

Mel glared first at him and then at the horse. "How many times must I request that you call me Mel, Solas? And no. I don't need help. What I need is for this beast to stop moving so much."

"I am surprised. I thought Dalish rode Hallas. It cannot be so different to ride a horse."

"They do. However I was not permitted to ride them." Mel muttered and then froze.

Solas was in a word shocked. The thought that Mel might not want to talk about such a slight did not occur to him. "Why is that?"

Mel sighed and leaned her cheek against the neck of the horse. "Because I was not of their clan. I was a tolerated tag along you could say."

"Are you not Dalish? You have the blood mark of Mythal."

"I suppose I am." Mel whispered.

Solas was confused. "Then who is your clan? How did you come to be with the Lavellan?"

Mel looked at him with a pained expression. "Solas please slow down your questions. I am not certain I want to answer."

At once Solas nodded. "I apologize then Len'Melava. It is just… unusual."

Mel gave a tight smile. "So I gathered. Hence my hesitance to discuss." After a moment she gave a sigh and joined his side.

"I have no memory of my past. Sometime ago I woke in a forest with only the feel of fur through my fingers and my name. I couldn't even tell you that the great gold ball in the sky was the Sun. But I had my instincts to guide me and the first people I encountered happened to look like me. And though I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted, I was not however needed."

"Why did they never adopt you as one of their own?" Solas asked softly. He knew the customs of the Dalish to be harsh at times.

"I heard the whispers of what was said about me. I talked oddly. My clothing was odd. My lack of memories suspicious. I could have murdered my entire clan. What would you have them do? No what they did was right. And I was grateful to them. I may not have been needed or loved but I had clothes to replace the rags and food to keep me alive. The Keeper gave me her knowledge and taught me how to control my magic."

"Do you not wonder where you come from?"

"I do. I often wonder. Was I a wife or mother? Did I have a brother or sister, was I respected and a good person? But there is little I can do. Perhaps with the Inquisition at my back I could make inquiries. When there is time."

Solas meant to offer his services as well but was prevented when a raven landed on the fence with a loud caw. He took the attached scroll from the raven's leg and read as the bird flew away, its mission complete.

"It seems you are needed in Val Royeaux. They must have gathered the remaining clerics."

"Will you be there with me?"

The slight catch in her tone caused Solas to look down into the woman's green eyes in surprise. He was unaccustomed to the apprehension in them and he realized that she wasn't asking him because she particularly needed his help with the Chantry. She was seeking reassurance that he thought no less of her because of her lack of a past. It was possible that after her time with the Dalish and kept at arm's length for so long because of her past she feared he would judge her just as harshly.

Feeling the need to put her mind at ease he set a hand on her shoulder with a warm smile. "I will be there." His stomach twisted at the relief that visually came over her. "And thank you for telling me. I won't say a word to the others."

Her smile didn't dim and she nodded. "Let's go round up the warrior and the archer. I am sure they are driving the horse master mad with their arguing."

Solas watched the mysterious woman walk away for a moment, his mind quickly processing everything he had just learned about her. He would take to searching for answers in the Fade for her. Surely there was a spirit there who knew of her.


	4. Chapter 4

_The people had just begun to pray again when Arlathan fell. The people with their eternal life had centuries to pray but I suppose after so long they grew bored or lazy. The people began to occupy themselves with more… interesting hobbies and the Gods were pushed away to the back of our busy minds. And then the Shems came. These short lived, passionate beings brought disease and age to the Elvhen._

_I was much too young to care but I heard the worry in Mamae's voice when her hair began to turn from black to white. She would look at Shiral and I and fill our heads with the promise that we would have our eternal life. She would walk the Beyond to find the key. We would one day be granted Uthenera and walk with the Gods. I am not so sure that I wanted to walk with them. Unless they enjoyed climbing trees or working on their rock collection I am certain that we would have nothing in common. _

_No I am much more content to walk with you Wolf. I wonder if she found the key. This answer she sought so that Shiral and I would have the long lives the Elvhen where accustomed too. You will be interested to know, the people prayed to Fen'Harel the most. After the fall, who better to pray to than the leader of countless rebellions, to save us from slavery? _

_Tell me Wolf, did Fen'Harel listen to their cries? To my gentle brother's pleas? If I had prayed as Shiral had, would he have listened and come to rescue our wretched souls from the never ending experiments and abuse?_

Redcliffe

Anger and confusion simmered in the center of Mel's chest as she led the way out of Val Royeaux. She may not have been treated with love by the Dalish and rather harshly by Cassandra at first, but she had never felt so worthless before.

Somehow the responsibilities had fallen to her to make the stubborn shems see that she wasn't putting herself on a pedestal for the glory, but that she and the Inquisition truly only wanted to stop the fighting and stop the demons. To close the breach so that people could return to their homes and farms without fear.

Few were actually listening to her. They were too set in their ways and beliefs. And she was twice damned as a mage and as an Elvhen. To the Templars and the Chantry she was a heretic barbarian.

The only thing left was to return to Haven, and make a plan to follow through with Grand Master Fiona's more than questionable invitation. Damn the Templars.

The entire visit to Val Royeaux had not been a failure for the Inquisition however. Mel was more than pleased to have recruited a couple more willing hands to their merry cause. An elegant and graceful mage called Vivienne and an Elvhen archer called Sera. The later was very odd in Mel's opinion. Her reasons for joining were doubtful but Mel accepted her more out of curiosity on what this odd Sera would say next.

The trek back to Haven was quick and uneventful. Her companions talked and argued, insulted or praised though Mel remained silent. She needed guidance. Answers to what she should do. She wasn't experienced in politics or making decisions for others. How could she in good conscious take control of an entire movement based on the fact that her hand for some unknown reason can seal rifts and hopefully close the breach.

Mel knew that if you needed answers there was one place to find them. As she walked through the gates to Haven and after much debate Mel came to the conclusion that she had to do this. Dream and search the Fade. Solas claimed to have searched for answers with no luck. Perhaps it was time for another mage to look.

Mel had to admit to not knowing much about it. Keeper Deshanna had called it Beyond, and it was a dangerous place. Demons where attracted to those who wandered the fade, seeking to corrupt them, to claw their way out of the Fade.

After arriving in Haven Mel hesitated and watched as her companions, new and old turned and seemed to be awaiting something from her. Studying each in turn with silent confusion until her gaze landed on Solas. His eyes were clear blue and encouraging.

In an instance Mel realize they were unsure on what to do now and that they were looking to her for instructions. The feeling was overwhelming and everything in Mel wanted to shout at them for looking at her in such a way. But the constant pain in her hand reminded her that while she had no choice to lead, they as well had no choice but to follow.

Mel sighed quietly. "I'll need to meet with the Commander, Leliana, and Josephine before we leave for Redcliff. Repair your weapons and armor, order supplies and rest." Without waiting for their nods of agreement she strode through the gates, Cassandra following her into the meeting in the war room.

-"How do you do this Mel… How does one dream?" Mel spoke to herself once she was at last in her own borrowed residence in Haven. The moment the long debate over whether to trust the invitation from the mages had been over, Mel had retreated to her temporary housing. Her heavier than she was accustomed to, armored jacket tossed on the back of a chair and her staff leaned next to the bed, Mel sat on the edge of the small bed deep in thought, her gaze transfixed on the warm flickering from the fireplace.

'Do I just… make a conscious effort as I fall asleep to dream?' Mel sighed and laid down slowly, her eyes closed. Her limbs were weary and relaxed without effort, breathing slowed and sleep overcame her.

Mel opened her eyes and confusion settled in them. She was still in the small little shack, still lying on the bed and the fire still crackling in the fireplace. For a moment Mel thought she was still awake as she sat up and went to leave the house in order to check the time. It was only when she opened the door did she realize that she must be in the Fade.

But something was wrong. Before her, just outside the door was a thick fog. Mel slowly put a hand out towards the fog but her fingers were stopped short, as if some sort of invisible net or cloth were holding her back. With a frown Mel then attempted to walk through the doorway and into the fog, only to once more be stopped.

Sighing in frustration Mel stepped back and studied the grey cloudy substance in front of her with narrowed eyes. "What are you and why can't I leave this wretched shack?" Mel growled at the fog. She then stood in silence after her short outburst.

Then a movement flashed through her vision, and the fog swirled and rippled. "Who's there?" Mel called out in a small voice. She didn't really expect an answer and she didn't receive one. Mel was frustrated and scared. "Why can't I dream?" she shouted.

Mel gasped as she sat up from her prone position on the bed. Her eyes were wide and she glanced around, taking deep breaths. A loud knock on the door followed by Cassandras muffled voice cause Mel to yelp lightly.

"Herald. We are ready to depart for Redcliff." Cassandra repeated herself when Mel failed to reply to her knock.

"Al-alright Seeker. I'll be right out." Mel managed to get out. Once Cassandra's footsteps quietly announced her departure Mel laid back down, her eyes wide. "I couldn't enter the Fade. Why couldn't I dream?"

-Solas knew something was wrong with Len'Melava. She was unusually quiet, and where she once went out of her way to run through rivers or climb from rock to rock, she kept to the path with a distracted stride. She absentmindedly hummed responses to Varric's questions and never once interrupted the arguments between the storyteller and Seeker.

Something was indeed wrong. Solas found the lack of her usual spirit dampening his own. Her constant questions about his various adventures, and the admiring of every plant, rock and creature they happened across with such childlike glee was infectious. Where once he preferred to keep his thoughts and memories to himself, he found he actually enjoyed sharing everything he had learned in the many years of his life.

In short, Solas desired for Len'Melava to give him her attention. That evening Solas approached Mel after they had set up camp an hour outside of Redcliff. She sat before the fire, occasionally poking it with a stick. He could see the weariness in her eyes after having to close a rift, fighting against the surrounding demons and breaking up a bandit camp.

"Lethallan, may I join you?"

Mel glanced up and nodded silently, a feeling of warmth overcame her at the term of fondness common among their race. She had heard it used for the people of the Lavellan but no one had ever used it for her. Mel felt a bit of her anxiety ease at the brush of energy she felt as Solas settled across the fire from her and she went back to her prodding the fire, a frown slightly disfiguring her vallaslin.

"Why do you dream Solas? In the Fade? Will you tell me why you put yourself in such danger?"

Solas hid his small surprise. Few could understand why he would willingly put himself in such danger, and even fewer cared to ask. The young Elvhen before him had asked him to share his experiences but she had yet to ask why.

"I dream for many reasons. Interacting with spirits of wisdom and knowledge, reliving memories of long forgotten battles or precious moments. I have travelled across Thedas, many times and have yet to encounter anything like the experience."

Mel smiled slightly at the enthusiasm in his voice and hugged her knees to her chest. "Do you dream often?"

"Every moment that I can. There are times where I dream for extended periods of time."

"I suppose I should be grateful that you chose to leave your journeys in the Fade to help us."

Solas frowned at the hint of bitterness in her tone, as if she were envious of his freedom. "The breach affects us all."

The two sat in silence for a moment, Mel chewing on her bottom lip while she stared across the fire at him. Something more was on her mind he could tell.

"Solas…" she began and then hesitated.

"Yes?"

He felt a twinge of disappointment when she sighed and shook her head. "Never mind. We should rest. I have the feeling tomorrow will be a trying day."

Solas had no choice but to nod as she stood and walked to her bed roll. He had waited too long to ask her what was troubling her, and would have to wait for his next opportunity. Varric was on first watch but Solas went ahead and relieved the dwarf. Varric offered no argument and Solas was left alone to watch over those sharing his journey.

-Redcliffe felt wrong. Mel wasn't sure what bothered her about it but something was off from the moment they were reluctantly welcomed and informed that they were in fact not expected despite the invitation coming from the Grand-Enchanter Fiona herself.

It wasn't long after meeting Fiona and the unexpected Tevinter Magister Alexius that Mel found out what the problem was. Alexius had apparently taken over Redcliffe with little resistance from the mages and they were now his to use as he saw fit.

Mel did not trust him. He reeked of deceit and dishonesty. Something told her the price for his assistance to close the breach would be very high indeed. It came as a surprise when Felix, Alexius' son, stumbled and fell on her, though the cause became clear when she felt a small piece of paper slipped into her hand by the young sickly man. A note requesting a meeting.

Mel may have been new to the life of danger and intrigue but even she knew the likelihood of this being a trap was tenfold, yet she was curious and promised the others that they would be prepared for any such ambush.

Whatever she expected when she entered the Redcliffe Chantry it was not to be faced with a stranger yelling in a voice dripping with sarcasm as he struggled to ward off demons coming from the rift in the Chantry.

Using motions that now felt like fluid instinct Mel, along with Solas, Cassandra, and Varric, leapt into action and assisted with the disposal of some particularly nasty demons followed by Mel painfully closing the rift.

When the last remnants of the green rift melted away Mel was able to get a decent look at whom they had just rescued. 'A tall, dark and handsome human; typical, mage; interesting, rude and arrogant; exciting.'

"Fascinating. How does that work, exactly? You don't even know do you? You just wiggle your fingers and boom! The rift closes."

Mel couldn't say that she appreciated the arrogance and mockery in his tone, and from the step forward Solas took, a warning in his eyes, she would guess that he didn't either. Deciding to let it go Mel ignored the comment.

"Who are you?"

He gave a slight bow, "Dorian of House Pavus, Most recently of Minrathous. How do you do?"

Something in Mel caused her to freeze her greeting. Cassandras warning about another Tevinter and to use caution. She hardly paid attention to the discussion about how Dorian had been an apprentice to Alexius, the arrival of Felix confirming his betrayal of his father and his father's affiliation with a cult, and Alexius' experiments with time travel. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was struggling to process the name Pavus.

Before she knew what happened she was standing in the war room, anger in her voice as she demanded that they needed to free the mages from the control of Alexius. A plan was made to infiltrate and confront Alexius head on.

-Solas was in shock. One moment Len'Melava and the Tevinter mage, Dorian were standing before Alexius, then before any of them had time to react, the two disappeared in what looked like a rift of some kind.

Solas stared at the spot Len'Melava had disappeared from in horror, and he swallowed thickly, glancing at Cassandra. Her face twisted in fury she raised her sword. "What have you done to them!" she spat.

Alexius merely shook his head and chuckled deeply. Before he could speak however the strange rift from before appeared once more and a very angry Elvhen her, armored robes splattered with blood stepped out, followed by Dorian.

"You'll have to try better than that if you want to kill me Alexius." Len'Melava taunted with a cruel tone in her voice. Then Solas watched as Alexius fell to his knees proclaiming that it was too late.

- The moment after accepting the mages as free allies of the Inquisition and Alexius had been taken into custody, Len'Melava had turned on her heel, ordered Cassandra to take everyone save Dorian back to Haven immediately, and she would be a day behind.

Cassandra had been speechless for a moment before attempting to offer protest at her Herald embarking off on her own with the Teventer. "I cannot allow you to-"

The small mage practically glowed with anger so fierce that it cut the hardened warrior off. Thinking back on it Solas could see there was more than anger. There was desperation and fear fueling the marked one.

He had attempted to stop her as she had brushed past him, her intention to leave alone with someone he did not trust was apparent. "Lethallan, perhaps it would be wise-"he had attempted to offer his protection to where ever she and the Tevinter were going.

Hope that he had gotten through to her had just begun to grow when she hesitated at the exit of Redcliffes castle. Dorian had stopped by her side, a look of concern that left Solas feeling sick on his face as he gazed Len'Melava.

Just when he thought she would listen to him, turn back and explain just what was going on in that wonderful mind of hers, she shook her head and ran. She ran and Solas was left behind, feeling more dread than he had since the breach first ripped through the sky.

The Inquisition company had returned swiftly to Haven, Cassandra reporting everything that to her knowledge had happened and Solas giving his best guess on the whereabouts of their missing Herald. True to her word they only had to wait a day as she arrived, much with the same anger and fear emanating from her.

No one was truly surprised that she was once again accompanied by more committed to their cause, a ferocious looking Qunari along with his company of mercenaries followed her and Dorian. Solas couldn't explain the immense relief that flashed through his entire body.

All he knew was that he was desperate to speak with her, to demand answers on where she went and why. Instead he watched her point the mercenaries toward a spot for their camp and motioned for Dorian to follow her into the Chantry. She was changed. Solas could see it in the way she held her shoulders stiff, fists clenched as she stalked into the Haven Chantry, the heavy doors slamming shut behind her.

Solas sighed in frustration at being made to wait. It grated on his pride that he wasn't deemed important enough to be in there. Following the orders, answering the demanding questions, having his advice ignored seemed to be as far as his usefulness went.

It was an internal struggle for him to tamp down the flash of arrogance he felt. They did not truly know him and that was how he wanted it. Be that as it may however it left him wanting. Solas however prideful he may be he was wise as well. He waited.

Solas wanted to know just what had happened to the little Elvhen during her unexpected time traveling adventure.


	5. Chapter 5

_Would you like to listen to the tale of my first journey away from my home? Away from Arlathan? I very young, just big enough to ride on a hart. I hadn't been around them very much you see, as we lived in the heart of Arlathan and never travel or had any use for the enormous beasts. _

_The moment Mamae told Shiral and I that we were to travel across the wilds to the far south, we were beyond busy with excitement. Asking questions and making plans._

_All that bubbling excitement immediately melted away the moment I stood before that massive, blue haired monster, with its enormous rack of antlers and stubby tail. I had to crane my little neck and nearly fainted when it looked down at me and snorted. I stumbled backwards, shaking my head in refusal. How could Mamae possibly expect me to control such a beast?_

_Until Shiral grabbed my hand telling me that he was afraid too. Then Mamae saw our fear and with soothing words to the hart, she led Shiral and I closer to it and encouraged us to offer our hands in greeting. And learning his name was Eth. How appropriate the name felt as indeed he was far safer to be around than I had ever felt._

_Once we were acquainted with Eth, Shiral and I took turns in the front of the saddle, holding the reigns. Our progress was slow, and the journey long but at last we made it to the incredibly ancient Suledin Palace. Did you know Suledin was once the home of one of the Gods? I couldn't say for sure which one but it was a magnificent place._

_The Temple of Mythal was a bit further into the south wilds and Mamae's brother…. What was his name again…? I- I cannot recall it anymore. It's right there… perhaps it will come back to me later. Her brother had devoted himself to protecting the temple from the shemlen. _

_At Suledin we watched as he gave his freedom to this fate he chose. Mamae's tears of grief as she knew she would never see her younger brother again. Watched as he along with many countless others quickly marched from the beautiful palace, leaving countless loved ones to protect a silly building dedicated to a goddess._

_I never understood it. What was his name?_

Falling of Haven

The sick knots of dread and anger refused to leave Mel and she was growing very tired of fighting to control both. Having never been in the position of having to make split second decisions for an entire movement, she was equally not experienced in having her decisions questioned and argued over.

Mel knew that mages were feared and despised by most, and being in the company of an ex-Templar, who commanded many other ex-Templars, she knew that her decision to form a partnership with the mages would be an unpopular decision.

But it was done, and she left the war room quickly, drawing in a deep breath of chilled air the moment the setting sun welcomed her outside. Closing her eyes Mel calmed herself, focusing on what was to be done next.

"Len'Melava, a word if you will?"

The sound of Solas' voice, his clear perfect voice caused Mel to catch her breath and glance in the direction it came from. He approached soundlessly and stopped at a respectful distance, his expression blank.

Mel had been dreading this conversation. She knew that she wasn't handling what had happened at Redcliffe in the best way. The fact was that she did not want to talk about it. Dorian knew what happened, had seen how it affected her.

She had forgotten to wonder why his family name made her tremble, her thoughts were instead bothered by another reason that made her tremble. Clenching her hands Mel resigned herself that she could no longer avoid Solas. She was still working up the courage to ask him to teach her to dream and she quite missed his company.

Finally giving the other mage a small nod she followed him to the privacy of his cabin. Relieved to be out of the cold, Mel went straight for the small crackling fire and held her hands out toward it.

Solas joined her side, resting a hand on the mantle. "It is excellent that we have gained the mages for support in closing the breach."

She began to rub the spot between her brows, fighting a sigh. "I hope I did the right thing. I- I know very little about why mages are hated so much. I suppose I understand Commander Cullen's anger at me for putting everyone in danger. All it takes is one mage becoming an abomination and everything we have fought for comes undone."

Mel knew that she was rambling, revealing much more than she had intended.

"It was not the easy path you chose that is certain. I do believe it to be the correct one however." Solas reassured.

Letting out a breath that she hadn't known she was holding she whispered a thank you. Grateful for his confidence.

There was a deep silence, Mel struggling to touch the words that she needed to say, hoping that he would broach the subject instead. As if sensing her inner struggle by the evidence of her fidget and quickness of her breath he took the conversation in hand.

"What you experienced… are you certain that it was time travel? Could it have been an illusion, a trick of the Fade?"

"I… I am very certain. That was real. And terrible."

"Lethallan what happened?"

Mel looked at the taller elvhen, studying his features until the memory of him in the future she and Dorian experienced replaced him. Shaking it away she sat on the floor with her half bare, leather wrapped feet tucked up under her, hands gripping her knees.

"Dorian and I were tossed through the portal into the dungeon cells. It wasn't until we discovered Grand-Enchanter Fiona locked in one of the cells did we learn that we were… we were one year in the future." Mel stopped to lick her lips and raised her eyes to see him still standing in the same spot, watching her silently and without expression.

"We were unable to save her. Then there was you. You and Cassandra. And it was terrible. Red lyrium was growing out of you both. You were becoming consumed with it! Your skin, your eyes… even your voice was changed! I knew that there had to be a way back. I could not allow Alexius and his Elder One to do this. So… Dorian calculated a plan after we found Leliana on a hideous torture rack. We cornered Alexius but demons were moments from overtaking the hall. So… so there was only one thing to do… You, Cassandra, and Leliana left to hold them back long enough for Dorian to open the portal leading back to this time."

Mel gave a whispered curse and looked away, back to the fire. "I was afraid and I knew that you were going to die. And I let you go out there. Then watched the doors burst open and a demon toss you aside like you were nothing. You were dead, as was Cassandra and a moment later Leliana. And in that moment of watching your lifeless body… it was truly awful Solas."

Solas silently joined her on the floor. "It is fortunate then that the future you witnessed will never come to pass. What an amazing gift. It is vital the Inquisition succeed then, to avoid this future."

Surprise erased the haunt in her eyes at his easy acceptance that she saw him die in a future that was not far away. "Wouldn't most people have some sort of trouble wrapping their heads around all of this?"

Solas lifted both of his brows as if surprised that she would even need to ask. "I'm not most people."

For the first time in what felt like ages to Mel, a smile lifted her tight features. It felt almost foreign to have such an expression, but she couldn't help the warmth his humorous arrogance brought. Realizing that she felt better, so much better at having talked about what truly happened in that dark time, without having to hash out every small detail and answer countless questions, her smile grew.

"I- I appreciate you talking with me about it. And… not being most people." She added, elated when he smiled back.

"If you wish me to speak of Orlesian fashion, I may be at a loss. Magical surprises, no matter how terrible or fantastic, I can handle."

A light peal of laughter erupted from Mel at his small jest. When her sounds of mirth faded away she sat in silence, the situation at hand returning back to the surface.

"I need to prepare to close the breach. I suppose I will leave you."

Solas nodded and quickly stood, offering a hand to Mel. The only time she had ever touched him had been when he held her wrist toward that first rift. She supposed he had touched her when she had been unconscious after the explosion at the Temple of Sacred Ashes and falling out of the fade but this was different.

She didn't know why her heartbeat skipped when she slipped her hand into his and allowed his strength to ease her up, but it did. A blush tinted her cheeks when he held her hand longer than was necessary and she quickly turned away towards the door when he took a step back.

"I will ready the mages to support you. I will await your word that you are ready for the journey."

Mel nodded over her shoulder silently before taking her leave. She almost welcomed the cool air clearing her fuzzy thoughts.

-The closing of the breach went smoother than Solas could have anticipated. The support of the mages with his instruction, Len'Melava was able to draw on them for the power she needed. Let it channel through her and with the glowing mark she slammed it closed with a great explosion that threw her to the ground. He along with the Seeker rushed to her side and found her startled but unharmed, much to their relief.

At Haven the mages and soldiers, the town's people and Len'Melava's quickly growing circle of friends, celebrated this great victory but he knew that it wasn't over. Far from it. And it wasn't long until his hesitations were proven accurate.

After young human man by the name of Cole, came to Haven in panic to give warning about an army of Templars marching from the Frostback Mountains, without hesitation he joined Len'Melava's side and together they fought to save Haven.

It was with the appearance of an incredible dragon, a dragon unlike which he had seen in a past so far back it would be difficult to describe, that everyone resigned to Haven being a loss. He stood within the Chantry walls and listened to Len'Melava quickly hash out a plan with Commander Cullen, a plan to save everyone but at the possible sacrifice of herself.

Solas immediately stepped forward to put an end to such a suggestion, but he never got the chance because without another word she hardened her eyes and quickly left the Chantry. Her mission to distract the dragon consumed with corruption and its master Corypheus long enough for him and everyone else to escape, before she fired a thousand pound boulder at the side of an ice covered mountain, burying Haven and all in its path. Including her.

He could not allow this, she wouldn't make it out of this and he found that he could not stand it. He made to follow this mad woman, but the hand on his arm stopped him. Dorian shook his head.

"You do her a miraculous injustice by ignoring her wishes. Into the tunnels quickly or this will all be for nothing."

Solas refused to say it aloud but he knew the Teventer was in the right. He would only endanger himself and her even more if he attempted to change her course. It was too late so instead he would have to hold out hope that by some feat of incredible luck, she made it out alive.

Instead he did his duty and helped those weaker than himself into the tunnels of Haven and out into the mountain wilds. With horror he watched as an entire endless mountain of ice and snow buried the small pitiful village of Haven.

-She didn't know how she had done it but somehow Mel managed to fall through the perfect cave-in at the perfect time. After her brief conversation with an ancient darkspawn magister, firing the trebuchet and running faster than she was certain she ever had before, she fell. And fell hard.

Mel was still shaking her eyes into focus when she finally stumbled from the escape tunnel and into a blizzard. And cold weighed on her heavily as she struggled with each step, snow nearly to her waist and an icy wind cutting through her thin armor.

Something was familiar about this feeling of suffocating cold.


	6. Chapter 6

_I was jealous the first time Shiral began to show favor for a maiden our age. She was beautiful and kind, a talented herbalist. Her name is… Harth or Lark… I suppose it's lost to me now. Shiral and I grew up with her, often joining her family for listening to the story tellers and dancing, playing in the woods and along the beaches._

_Their eventual… attachment shouldn't have been a surprise for me but It was. I couldn't understand. He was my brother, my best friend. I never needed anyone else because I had him. But for some reason I wasn't enough for him._

_I wasn't completely blind, I knew he was a fine young man of good family and great magical talent. It was only a matter of time before he outgrew the companionship of his sister and began to welcome that which only an attentive female could give._

_But that did not stop me from feeling hurt. And blind as I'm sure all men tend to be, he couldn't see what pain I felt when he would forget that we were to meet after the days lessons to play a trick on one of the grumpy elders. Instead I would find him hours later beneath our favorite tree, his head resting in the maids lap as they giggled and whispered whatever there was to giggle and whisper about._

_This happened many times and I always forgave him. Until he tried to pair me with some ridiculous friend of his. Wolf, I wanted to shake him when instead of Shiral meeting me he sent a stranger who bored me beyond imagination with tales of his powers with fighting. _

_Mamae told me to forgive my brother for he is young and stupid but he deserves to figure out how to divide his time. He never did. He continued to inadvertently ignore me… until she revealed that she had accepted the binding offer of that same warrior he had tried to pair me with._

_I never forgave her for turning my brother into a sad mope for weeks! It took a great deal of effort on my part to get him to move on. I vowed to never allow myself to fall into such a trap as he did. I took his lesson and made it my own._

_Not long after our entire world fell apart and a broken heart seemed like such a silly thing in comparison. Shiral never found love again. And that is one of my regrets._

An Avalanche of Change

Slowly, second by second, Mel rose from a heavy sleep to consciousness. Her eyes fluttering she took her surroundings in, a large tent with many wounded seeking it protection, various healers speaking in hushed tones.

The sound of a heated argument reached her pointed ears and in a rush Mel sat up trying to shake the fuzziness from her mind. Everything came back at her in a rush, the battle, Corypheus and his dragon, the cold.

That achingly familiar cold and the fight to not give up. Mel slowly moved each of her limbs, wincing at the pain in her shoulder, but relieved to be warm. The argument between Leliana and the others grew and Mel could no longer stand it. Fighting amongst themselves, was the last thing they needed to do.

She brushed off words of the wisdom and faith from Madam Giselle and went to leave the tent, halting when everyone of the Inquisition began to sing a song she had never heard before. Mel found it beautiful, the mixing of everyone's unique voices.

However Mel herself was speechless as everyone turned to her, they knelt in respect with awe in their eyes and she felt frightened. She was saved having to think on the weight they were putting on her when Solas stepped from the shadows and requested a moment of privacy.

The glow of the veilfire he lit with his will was ethereal and beautiful and drew Mel closer to his side, waiting for him to speak.

"The humans have not raised one of our people so high for ages beyond counting." He gave a quick smile at the small blush on her cheeks. With a sigh he turned solemn, a frown taking over. "Her faith is hard-won, Lethallan, worthy of pride… save one detail. The threat Corypheus wields? The orb he carried? It is ours. Corypheus used the orb to open the breach. Unlocking it must have caused the explosion that destroyed the conclave. We must find out how he survived… and prepare for their reaction, when they learn the orb is of our people."

A sinking feeling settled in Mel at his words. "Solas… if what you say is true… what is this orb and how do you know?"

Solas held his hands behind his back and his eyes grew more intense. "Such things were foci, said to channel power from our gods. Some were dedicated to specific members of our pantheon." He paused at Mel's scoff and slight eye roll.

When she noticed his curious expression Mel coughed and looked away.

"All that remains are references in runes, and faint versions of memory in the fade, echoes of a dead empire. But however Corypheus came to it, the orb is Elvhen, and with it, he threatens the heart of human faith."

Picking up on where he was going with his explanation Mel nodded. "And the blame will be on us."

"I fear you are correct. Faith in you is shaping before our eyes, but it needs more. Corypheus has changed the Inquisition, changed you. Guide the Inquisition. There is a place that waits for us."

-Solas knew Len'Melava was afraid. She was alone in the world, a wildling with bare feet and a tattooed face. She knew little of politics and warfare, of saving the world and giving orders. Of making the correct decision for everyone and dealing with the ones that stand to oppose her.

Which is why he led her to Skyhold. By her side he gave her hope and she blossomed. The little wild one led everyone through the dangerous Frostbacks to the hidden and abandoned stronghold. He was pleased with the excitement on her face when she first saw the crumbling walls and collapsing roofs.

For a moment he saw Len'Melava as he was sure he would have seen her before she was marked with the glowing anchor. And the thought led to other thoughts about making it through this alive, of the future. Something that he was not fond of thinking of.

Though with Len'Melava's lovely face momentarily free of worry, he could not stop himself. Which is why he felt a distinct mixture of pride and sadness when the heavy mantle of Inquisitor Len'Melava was bestowed, all the worry and fear weighed on her even more than before.

The title and role of Inquisitor was considered very prestigious and to be given to anyone other than a human was even more astounding. Though no one of the Inquisition questioned the decision and Len'Melava accepted with incredible bravery, Solas was thoroughly impressed.

He watched as their new Inquisitor led her council of advisors into the hall of Skyhold, suddenly feeling even more unneeded than he had at Haven. There was nothing left for him to do for her except help in any way possible to ensure her success against Corypheus.

Solas didn't have to wait long for an exhausted Len'Melava found him mixing together ingredients to begin painting a mural in the front tower.

"Leth- er Solas… do you mind if I seek a moment of peace before I go into yet another meeting with friends of Varric's?" She asked from the doorway.

Solas immediately gestured for her to enter. "Of course. Congratulations are in order Inquisitor."

She shook her head and rubbed the spot she always did when she seemed to have a headache. "Yes well… thank you… Solas is there anything else you know about this… this mess?

Feeling more than a bit hopeless that she came to him for help and there was little he could offer without losing her favor. "I believe Cassandra or Varric would know more…" he attempted to steer questions regarding Corypheus and the artifact from him. But Len'Melava looked up with pleading eyes.

"Please Solas… any advice from you I could use."

Pleasure warmed him in spite of his hesitation. "I will answer all that I can Inquisitor."

He noticed the small flinch she gave at being called her new title and she must have noticed his curiosity. "I'm sure it will take time to get used to being called… that." She said with a frown of distaste and he couldn't stop the small chuckle.

Solas answered her many questions and voicing a few of his own and voicing his anger and disbelief about Corypheus unlocking the relic orbs power. The feeling that he was revealing too much was distracted when she abruptly changed subjects.

"Why can't I dream in the Fade Solas?"

Startled by the question he blinked and then stared at her. Green eyes wide, she waited.

"You have tried to dream in the Fade but cannot? How is this possible? You were physically in the Fade when the conclave was destroyed."

She shook her head and began to pace, he followed her movements with his arms crossed.

"I have no idea. I wanted knowledge, someone who could tell me about this… this anchor I carry now. You said that you had searched the Fade for answers and found none. I hoped that maybe a fresh look would help."

"And you made the attempt to dream?"

"I did. In Haven after we returned from Val Royeux. I fell asleep on my bed and I dreamed that I was still in that shack, and when I opened the door to leave there was this… this barrier-"

"Can you describe it?"

She closed her eyes. "A gray fog, it felt cold and flexible. I couldn't see very far through it but I could make out figures moving beyond it. Whispers just beyond my hearing."

Solas considered her words. "Unusual. I will make inquiries."

With a sigh she shook her head. "It's alright. Will you tell me about yourself instead? The stories you have told me about before… they fascinate me. And it seems as if I am unable to experience them myself…"

Once again Solas was surprised by her. And more than a little pleased, he led her to a seat and sat beside her. "I sat beside you in the dungeon while you slept, studying the anchor."

Looking at him she gave a small smile. "I'm glad that I wasn't alone. Thank you."

Solas looked away and attempted to brush off her admiration. "You were a mystery. You still are. And there was the threat Cassandra had against me if I failed to explain what you were and what you were capable of. I would be to blame as an apostate and aiding you with the destruction of the Conclave."

"Cassandra seems to be overly dramatic with everyone."

Solas chucked in agreement and looked at Len'Melava once more turning serious.

"You were never going to wake up. A mortal sent physical through the Fade? How could you? For the first time in a long time I was more than frustrated… I was frightened. Spirits were chased away by the breach. I was ready to flee."

Len'Melava reached out and rested a hand on his clenched fist as if to offer him comfort. "You didn't though. You stayed."

Staring down at their hands. "I told myself, one last attempt to seal that first rift." Solas closed his eyes and swallowed. "I tried and failed. Ordinary magic could not seal it. That… that is when I resigned myself to flee. The rifts were growing, you were never going to wake, and it was only a matter of time before Cassandra would follow through with her vow that I would pay. And then…"

Solas looked up and met Len'Melava's gaze. "You were there. The key to everything. In the moment of holding your marked hand toward the rift… I felt the whole world change."

He heard Len'Melava catch her breath and lean in slightly. "Because of the marks ability to do what you could not… or because of me?"

Solas looked away and felt a blush warm his face. He couldn't remember the last time he had had such a reaction to… anyone. "It… was only a figure of speech Lethallan."

There was a smile in her voice that turned it soft. "I'm aware of that. Tell me what you felt… please Solas?"

"You changed… everything." He said simply, words failing to come to him and hoping she knew what he was trying to tell her.

He turned to face her when he felt her warm hand touch his cheek and he closed his eyes when she surprised him with a kiss. She overtook his sense, all comprehendible thought left and all that mattered was the feel of her against him.

The loss he felt when she pulled away all too soon pained him and it only took a split second for him to react. Len'Melava, her face blushing, moved to stand but Solas quickly wrapped an arm around her shoulders and crashed his lips against hers.

A frenzy was building inside of him and it only grew when she moaned her acceptance. His fingers slid into her hair and she gave his bottom lip a small nip, a growl rumbling from him. He had to get closer to her, it became a primal need and he pressed her closer.

In the back of his mind an inner voice demanded that he was going too far and for a brief moment he listened, pulled away and opened his eyes. It only took one moment to see the fiery desire in her eyes, her quickened breath and feel of her hands holding his shoulders tight to shut out that voice and he kissed her once more.

Telling himself that it was ok he tightened his hold on her. Until she whispered his name against his lips. Coming to his senses he pulled back and stood from the bench. Almost frightened to look at her.

"We shouldn't. It isn't right…" He immediately regretted his choice of words.

"I… I've never done anything like that before."

He sighed and pulled her to stand next to him. "I apologize Lethallan. The kiss was…" He wanted to say incredible and how he wanted more. But he held his emotions in check and attempted to diffuse any feelings she might be feeling in the wake of a rather passionate moment. "It was impulsive and ill considered. And I should not have encouraged it."

She frowned and he recognized the stubborn lift of her chin. "You kissed me back Solas… I refuse to believe that it was a mistake…" she said fiercely before sighing and looking away. "This is new to me but I can't hide how I feel. However if I'm pressuring you…"

Solas smiled softly and gave her hand a slight squeeze. "No, the fault is mine. It has been a long time since… and I am not certain that this is the best idea. This… could lead to trouble." He felt like he was losing control of himself. On the inside he was telling himself that no, he should shut down any possibility between them immediately. There was no doubt that where this would lead was indeed trouble.

But he wanted to see her happy and for some uncomprehendable reason he was why she was happy in that moment. The last strand of his resistance was broken when she picked up his other hand and smiled. "I'm willing to risk it Solas… are you?"

"We take risks every day… what's one more?" and his heart lifted at the happiness he gave her and the quick peck she stood on her bare toes to give him on the cheek.

"On that note I must go meet with Varric and his friends from Kirckwall. Do… would you join me at dinner?" She stepped backwards toward the door, releasing his hands with a bashful look.

"Go to your meeting. I will be there waiting for you." After her happy nod he was left alone with his paints and too much to think about.

-There was an obvious spring to the new Inquisitors step as she wandered her way toward the forward battlements. After the exhausting meeting in the war room she had simply sought a bit of wisdom from a friend. She never expected to have her world thrown upside down with all the force of an avalanche of emotions.

Mel knew she was excited and afraid and full of hope. And her first kiss. She couldn't explain why she pulled him in like that, perhaps it was seeing Solas so vulnerable and… real. Majority of the time he is calm and collected and to see him lay his feelings, putting his trust in her… she had taken a risk and it was worth it. She just knew it.

Just ahead Mel could make out Varric and he was standing with a woman, human, dark hair and a mages staff slung across her back. She seemed interesting enough though as Mel reached them she caught sight of someone even more interesting and she stopped short. A name swam through her mind but she failed to grasp it, all she could say as the three faces turned to stare at her was "I know you…"


	7. Chapter 7

_I know where the Rebel One supposedly imprisoned the rest of the Pantheon. I know where the all of them are. Even the whispers that are the Forgotten One. I learned at a very early age that we Elvhen thrive on secrets. The greater and more powerful the secret you hold the more precious you are to the Elders._

_Mamae was very powerful as you can imagine. No one was more welcome in the Beyond than her. And all of Elvhenan knew it. And she was very cautious with the secrets she knew. Except when Shiral and I were very young. _

_Every night as she tucked our blankets around our chubby little chins, she would tell us what she called stories. Great adventures of powerful beings plotting and forgiving. Of betraying the other and then defying the odds to save them. Tales of what she called the Shimmering City. And how she found the key to unlock it._

_As we grew older her stories changed to more mundane adventures. A shepherd's flock went missing but the creatures were lead back to safety by a wolf. While I did enjoy the deeper meaning I was rather bored with these. And Shiral and I began to speak amongst ourselves about the tales Mamae once told. _

_It wasn't difficult for us to piece together that Mamae had told us how to find these fabled Gods. Not long before our home was destroyed Shiral and I went to look for ourselves. Which led to the biggest fight we ever had with Mamae._

_I do not know how she figured out what we were doing. We made it all the way into the Cut before… Mamae was furious… Wolf I cannot remember what she looked like when she was angry. Or happy. I only remember how afraid she looked as Shiral pulled me away from her. _

The Gift From Fear

Ignoring the three different looks of surprise, shock, and suspicion she was receiving, Mel walked a slow, studying circle around the elf with equally white hair and curious glowing markings. The silence coming from Varric, Hawke, and Fenris was deafening until Varric managed to clear his throat enough to break it.

"Uhh Mel… you know Fenris here?" The shorter companion asked.

"Yes… do you?" Varric's companion asked with a threatening tone to her voice as she took a possessive step toward Mel's subject of study.

Her tone caused Mel to look at her, clearly startled that anyone else was there. Mel blinked twice, taking in the appearance of the other mage, her glorious red hair loose in the wind, the staff slung across her back and the narrowed eyes. Realizing that she might perhaps be standing in a dangerous spot, Mel quickly retreated a respectable distance and coughed nervously.

"Oh… my apologies. I'm Len'Melava of… well Lavellan and the Inquisition. Welcome…."

Varric stepped in when his friends failed to introduce themselves. "Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall and Fenris… also known as Broody." He attempted to lighten the mood. The glare Fenris gave him did an excellent job of informing him that he had failed.

"How do you know Fenris?" Hawke demanded.

Mel stared at the frowning elvhen in question for a moment, searching her mind for the answer and finding the usual black hole of nothingness. With a sigh she gave up. "I suppose I don't. Maybe it was just a feeling. Fenris you say? That is not your true name is it?"

Everyone looked startled, none more so than Fenris who spoke to Mel for the first time. "How could you possibly know that?"

Mel shrugged. "I know that no mother would name their child after the Dreadful One. You must have given it to yourself."

Varric gave a deep laugh and shook his head. "Remarkable. C'mon Broody tell her your real name."

His frown deepening he looked away, clearly uncomfortable and rubbed the back of his neck. "You are right about it not being my first name but you are wrong about my mother. Leto."

Mel's eyes widened as an ancient meaning whispered through her mind. "Do… do you know the meaning of that name?"

Hawke rolled her eyes. "Of course. It means little wolf."

Shaking her head Mel took a step closer. "The true meaning. Not the ones the city elves, or slaves, or even the Dalish say it is because everyone has made up their own meaning for everything if Solas is correct. The _ancient_ meaning?"

"All right there mistress of suspense, you're giving me chills. What's Leto _really_ mean?" Varric urged.

"Hidden…. Forgotten… Cursed." Mel said the last with a whisper and sadness.

Fenris looked angry as he turned on his bare heel and began to walk away. Realizing that she must of upset him Mel began to call after him but was silenced by a motion from Hawke.

"Leave him. Now before I see just how good you are with that stick on your back for upsetting him, how about we discuss the whole reason for me even being in this pile of frozen rubble. Corypheus."

-"Was I wrong Solas? Telling Fenris the meaning of what his mother named him?"

Solas looked at Len'Melava as they led the Inquisitions assault on Adamant Fortress. They were a less than an hour from launching their attack and instead of their leader concentrating on the strategy, she was worried about the hurt feelings of Varric's friend.

Len'Melava had come to him straight after meeting with Hawke about Corypheus, muttering about how familiar the elvhen warrior was. And once he had his own look at the warrior in question there was something indeed very familiar about him.

And Solas was filled with pity when he learned that the currently named Fenris was once called Leto by his mother, sister, and his master. And it piqued his curiosity on why he was given a cursed name.

The next day he had joined Len'Melava and the others on the trek to Crestwood to track down Hawkes friend Loghain, in hopes that he could explain the disappearance of the Grey Wardens. This journey led them to discover corrupted Grey Wardens under Venatori command to raise a demon army for Corypheus.

"No I don't think you were wrong. You told him the truth, and he will come to terms with it. I am curious on why… ah here comes the Commander. The soldiers must be in position. After you Inquisitor."

The mock glare she gave him over his use of her title brought a brief smile to his face before he concentrated on the sounds of battle beginning.

He admired the way Len'Melava didn't flinch at the sounds of boulders launching from their positions and exploding into the walls of the Grey Warden fortress. She steeled herself against the cries of death and those begging for their lives.

She spared the Grey Wardens who proved that they had no dealings with the blood magic rituals intended to aid Corypheus in raising an army of demons. He was pleased with the improvement she had shown with using her magic for battle though he had been nervous about her desire to battle as a Knight-Enchanter. Or Arcane Warrior as they once were called.

Using a blade of the Fade put her on the front lines and further from his reach if her barrier weakened and failed. And he almost had her convinced to study how to use the veil in battle along with him but the moment he let it slip that it was ancient elvhen magic that the Chantry now called theirs and she was firm in her desire to learn the ancient way of her ancestor warriors.

Solas admitted to himself that he did her a great disservice in believing that she did not have the warrior capacity. But as he watched her now he was clearly distracted by how wrong he was.

Len'Melava came into her own as a front line fighter. She kept a protective shield around herself and Cassandra while he and Varric fought from the sidelines. He was at war with his protective instinct that she would be out there in the heart of the danger, spinning and slashing with a great sword from the Beyond and simultaneously using her staff to stun far away Grey Wardens and demons with shocks of lighting.

But she was magnificent and it was more than once he found himself watching her rather than freezing their enemies in mid action.

It wasn't until the demon dragon under the control of Corypheus attacked did he fully focus on the great peril they were in. He lost all feeling when the demon dragon was felled, crashing into the already crumbling bridge they were all on. His survival instinct emerged and Solas began to run from the approaching collapse but he couldn't stop himself from looking back for Len'Melava.

Solas gave a shout as he watched her stop to help Loghain who had fallen but she could not out run the falling stones. Before he could process that she was gone, tumbling down into a never ending abyss, he himself had lost against the collapse and fell for what seemed an eternity.

-Mel looked at the faces of those who had fallen into the Fade with her and saw the same expression on almost everyone's face. Cole was sick with terror of being corrupted, Cassandra worried but holding her fear in check. Hawke and Loghain were obviously scared but ready. Solas looked enthralled and studied every rock and puddle.

Mel herself felt… alert but not uncomfortable. The eerie green glow of the Fade, the pillars of jagged black rock and the faintest glimpse of a faraway tower. She felt the desire to go there. To what was called the Black City. All this curiosity though was dissolved when she was addressed by what appeared to be Divine Justinia whom had been killed in the destruction of the conclave. Urging her to look for her stolen memories.

And moments later by what Solas called the fear demon.

"We have a guest. A foolish little girl has come to steal the fear I kindly lifted from her shoulders. You should have thanked me and left your fear where it lay, forgotten. You think that pain will make you stronger? What fool filled your mind with such drivel? The only one who grows stronger from your fears is me. But you are a guest in my home, so by all means, let me return what you have forgotten."

Mel stopped in her tracks, her heart skipping a beat as she spoke to the voice filling her head, filling everyone's head.

"My memories? All of them?" She couldn't hide the hope from her voice and she kept her face forward, away from the others. Her blood ran cold though at the hateful laugh reverberating in her skull.

"I can only return that which I claimed from you during your pervious journey through my home. You will have to look elsewhere for the return of your precious memories." There was a pause as it allowed Mel to ponder the loss of hope before finishing. "But perhaps the one who claimed them is not as far off as you fear."

"Of whom do you speak? Answer me!" Mel shouted to the emptiness in her ears. For a moment she had felt that answers were in her reach only to find them further away than ever.

"Lethallan." Solas spoke from her side, gaining her attention. Mel took a look at his calmness and fought for her own.

"Let's get out of here." She growled and led the small group towards the rift they hoped would take them home, and out of the Fade. The further they went the more Mel remembered of the conclave, of stumbling upon Corypheus using the orb he held, the one Solas said was an elvhen artifact of the Pantheon, sacrificing Divine Justinia and how Mel had on instinct picked up the orb from where Corypheus had dropped it, unleashing incredible power that sent her and the Divine into the Fade and lastly of the Divine sacrificing herself for the survival of Mel as she shoved her through the rift that sealed her fate.

It was a great deal to take in, remembering stolen memories was painful and exhausting but there was the distraction of the fear demon taunting her friends with their fears. Their failures, shortcomings, their sins. Mel felt as if she were intruding upon their privacy as she learned their deepest feelings against their will. Until the fear demon spoke to Solas in what sounded like ancient elvhen.

"_Dirth ma, harellan. Ma banal enasalin. Mar solas ena mar din."_ The voice rumbled. Mel was startled by the sudden use of an almost forgotten language and it took her a moment to complete the translation.

"Tell me, Trickster, did your victory amount to anything? Your pride will be your death." She whispered to herself. A feeling prickled the back of her mind, the suspicion that she had heard the second sentence before. But like all things that were difficult to grasp it was lost in the void.

Mel pondered asking Solas about what the fear demon meant if they survived this off track adventure. However she changed her mind when they came across a small plot of tombstones. It took one glance for Mel to realize that she was looking at what her friends feared the most.

Before she could stop herself, her eyes found the one with Solas chipped into the stone and beneath it was his fear. Dying alone. And she felt her heart shudder at what she was sure she could never fully comprehend.

-"Glad to have you back with us Inquisitor." Leliana spoke as Mel joined the Spymaster, Commander, and diplomat in the war room. The time had come to discuss their next move. Which happened to be a ball.

Fighting their way out of the Fade, making the decision to leave Loghain behind to give her and the others enough time to make it through the rift had been a deep emotional wound for Mel. One that would take a very long time to heal, and she hopped giving the Grey Wardens the chance to redeem themselves would help her come to terms with letting a good man die for her.

Her decision hadn't been a popular one but it was done. Hawke had asked to use the frozen pile of rubble as a base as she searched for Grey Wardens, and permission had been granted. Mel felt mentally and physically exhausted, as her friends were too. But there was more to do.

The Empress Celene was in danger of an assassination as ordered by Corypheus himself had been recently revealed by Alexius. Mel was dreading another confrontation so quickly after another accidental walk through the Fade. But the thought of going to a palace, where there would be dancing and gossip brought a bubble of excitement.

The moment Josephine was done discussing important contacts for the mission, Mel sprinted down the main hall toward the rotunda where Solas spent his time researching and painting, bursting through the door with excitement. Startled, Solas' paint brush missed its mark and gave the wolf he was painting a slashing nose.

"Lethallin, what are your thoughts on Orlesian soirees?"


End file.
